Talking to our teens about certain issues can sometimes be hard and awkward but it is extremely important that we do it! We live in a time where the culture will sell our kids a lot of things that are not healthy for them and we want them to take their cues from us, not the world!Talking to our kids about their future spouse’s can be one of those tough talks! However we want them to know how important choosing a spouse is, what our expectations and rules are about dating and what things they should be looking for in a potential spouse.
I also think we should be praying for our children’s spouses as early as their birth. We don’t know who they are out there but God does! I tell my children at an early age, picking a spouse is one of the most important things you ever do-choose wisely. It is never too early to start putting those messages in your children’s ears. You don’t want to wait until they are drawn to someone, let them know what you hope for them early on!
Ten things I want my daughter to look for in a husband!
- He loves God most (yes, even more than her) – I want my daughter to know that she wants a future spouse to love God with all his heart, soul, and mind! It is more than important to marry a man of faith, they need to make God first and center.
- He is supportive of her dreams and passions – I want her to seek a man who loves her for who she is and is excited for her when she dreams big! I want for her someone who sees her value and appreciates the gifts God has given her!
- He is a man of character – We live in culture today where this could be harder and harder to find, however it is still very important. I want her to look for qualities of character in a future spouse, honesty, integrity, and kindness are all very important. .
- He is humble – There are a lot of people in this world that are full of themselves, and Christians are not immune. I want her to seek a humble man, one who knows he needs God more than anything! “Pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18
- He is slow to anger – How does he handle stressful situations? Is he patient? We all get angry sometimes and many times it is rightly so but does anger come easily to him and how does he act when he is angry? . “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.” Proverbs 15:18
- He realizes her body is not his until marriage – Our bodies become each others once we are married. Sex is a beautiful thing and a gift from God but it is meant for marriage. Will a future man in my daughter’s life respect that and honor God’s wishes for her?
- He attends church regularly – I want my daughter to find someone who attends church regularly. It goes back to number 1, if he loves God with all his heart he will want to be in the house of the Lord. It will be important for them to be with like minded people and the body of Christ as they become a family!
- He respects his parents and future in laws – This is a huge flag if a future man doesn’t respect his own parents. I want her to know a good man will talk with his parents and with her mom and dad with respect. He doesn’t always have to agree with them but he should be respectful!
- He is a hard worker – I want her to seek a man who is not afraid of hard work. A lazy man will be a recipe for disaster and will never be willing to provide for his family.
- He loves her deeply – My husband and I love my daughter very much! When we give her away some day we want to give her to a man who loves her the way we do. Someone who will protect and honor her all the days of her life.
I love when your teens can read great books about courage, faith, and relationships that honor God! My daughter and I have been reading “A Daring Sacrifice” by Jody Hedlund and it is full of adventure from the very first page! The main character is a girl who has taken to robbing people in order to provide food and shelter to peasants who her wicked uncle has taxed into poverty. At one point she makes a mistake by being recognized by a childhood friend she was trying to rob. Lord Collin challenges her to stay at his estate in hopes she will leave her thieving and he will win her heart!
This book shows what real courage and real sacrifice is about and how love is about both of those things. I love how it has discussion questions at the end where you can get engaged with your teen about issues that come up in the book. Most if not all of these issues can come up in real life in their own stories and it gives great food for thought! Talking to our teens about dating and what we should look out for in a mate can sometimes be awkward for parents, but reading a great fiction adventure/romance can help bring up great discussions on real life and it is great for getting those important topics into their memory!
If you are looking for a great adventure for your teen to read you can buy A Daring Sacrifice at Zonderkidz.com
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