5 Ways to Connect with Your Teens

We are always hearing how having teenagers is tough!  And it can be!  Our children are becoming young men and women and adolescence isn’t always easy.  There are skin breakouts, hormones, emotions they don’t always know what to do with, and coming to grips with who they are. However, there are wonderful things about having teens that can bless us in amazing ways. These truly can be the “best years” of parenting and bring memories that will last a lifetime!  *affiliate links included

teens1jpeThe more intentional you are with your children while they are growing up, the better things will be with your child in their teen years.  Start young having conversations, be a good listener, and spend quality time with them.  I’m not saying this is a guarantees you a totally easy road, but it makes it more likely.

I’m the mom of two teen boys now and my daughter will be turning 12 soon.  I have to say I am really enjoying these years with them!

Many times moms and dads don’t know how to connect with their teens, and often this leads to a strained relationship.  After all this is a time where your child is sharing their own opinion about things and starts to want to be independent of you!  This is normal and we should embrace this time, as long as we have proper boundaries in place!  Here are some ways you can connect!

  1.  Have Great Conversations – You can have great conversations with your teens.  You can talk about world events, entertainment, spiritual matters and much more!  The younger you begin conversations with your kids the more they will engage you when you’re older.  Ask them about their passions and interests (even if it is not a subject you are normally interested in) , it means a lot to your teens to show that you care about what they care about and who knows, you just might learn something!  My kids have taught me about many things, such as technology and fashion!
  2. Share clothes/makeup – my daughter and I wear the same size shoe (probably not for long) but we share cute sandals and scarves all the time. She loves to do my nails and we have a great time together.  I don’t want to look like a teen but there are certainly things we can share together and with that we connect!  It helps build relationship!
  3. Learn their love language – I wrote quite a while back about learning your children’s love language.  There are no more important years to have this down then your children’s teen years.    When you discover your child’s love language you can use it to connect with your teen.

The love languages are:

touch

words

quality time

gifts

service

A great book on the subject is The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers New Edition: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively!

I bet you already know which one goes with some of your children.  Quality time and words are probably my children’s biggest ones!

  1. Share hobbies or interest together – It is easier to find common interests when your children are older.  My husband and son love working on cars together, my daughter and I love working on recipes and scrapbooking!  Find some common interests with your children and enjoy them together.
  2.  Get Active with Your Teens – You can go all out and learn a new sport with your child, I know sons and fathers that do Taekwondo together, or you can do things on a smaller scale, such as play ping pong and/or pool together.  You can swim every morning or take a daily walk!  If you have a child that loves video games, sit down and learn to play a couple of them.  It really can be fun and when you take the time you are investing in the relationship with your child.  If we are always too busy with our to do lists, our work, or our house cleaning there is not a lot of room in growing relationships.

Try hard to savor the time; there is just something about knowing you don’t have too much time raising your child that makes you appreciate the time even more!   Savor these years, enjoy every moment of your time together before they go out and make their own life!  You will always be their parent but these are days to cherish!!

Don’t let the world tell you that teenagers are a burden or that you should dread these years. That is a lie our culture has sold us, and I’m here to tell you it’s just not true!  Teens still need their parents and you need them. They need their parent’s guidance, wisdom, and love. You need them to grow you like nothing else!!  Enjoy this time; in a blink of an eye it will be gone!

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