Why It is Important to say You’re Sorry to Your Strong Willed Child

 

Many times we make mistakes with our strong-willed child.  Sometimes BIG mistakes.  They have a way of pushing every button we have!  They make us feel like failures as parents and often if a bad temper is a struggle for us, it will be the child we use it with the most.

Father and son having conversation on tropical beach

I encourage you today to repent to that child if there is anything you have done to hurt the relationship.  The Bible says, be angry but sin not.

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Have you sinned against your child?  I know I have, sometimes to the point where I feel I have ruined them or maybe even ruined myself.    Children are the most forgiving people on this earth.  They really are.  Run to them and ask for forgiveness.  Many times my child and I will end up in tears during these times, it is often when you will see real repentance on their part as well.

They feel safe in the arms of a mother or father that sees they are not perfect either!

Focus on the family did study years ago and asked kids of all ages if they could change one thing about their mom what would it be?  A majority of them said “that my mom wouldn’t yell so much”

Moms, I have been there, I was a yeller!  I came from a home where yelling was just as normal as eating dinner every night and I took it straight to my new home with my new husband and right along with me to the first child.  When my 2nd was born and very strong willed I thought it would be the death of me.

God continued to speak to me OVER and OVER about yelling.  Finally, I started to listen and to pray.  Many times I had to take a timeout and sometimes still do.  That timeout helps me get it together before I take it out on the ones I love the most!

Go to your room and lock the door and pray.  Pray until you can come out calmly and deal with the situation.  Jump in the shower and let the water soothe your body and your heart until you can come out and whatever you do sin not and if you fail you need to start over again and again.  Don’t give up!

I didn’t want my children to have memories of mom screaming all the time.  I didn’t want them to remember me always flying off the handle when things didn’t go right for me.  I didn’t want my kids to run and hide when they broke something or had a spill.

It literally brings tears to my eyes to write this.

It is painful knowing I ever hurt my children even if it wasn’t physically.

If anger is a struggle for you, I know it is not easy.  I still have issues sometimes with it, praise God, it is not often anymore, but only because of HIS grace and help!  I couldn’t do it in my own strength.

Repenting to your child will be your first step in healing the relationship.  Tell them how you are feeling.  Talk to them about issues you are having with them when it is not in the moment of frustration.   When you bring up issues bring them up when tempers are not flaring and their guard is down, they will often take your advice, discipline, and/or apology the best.

Think about your Father in heaven.  HE forgives all that you do, EVERY single thing.  Have a forgiving spirit to your strong-willed child but also repent before him/her.   Let them know you’re sorry for your temper, or your overreaction! Remind them that you love them, over and over again.

For the ones who feel much guilt about the past, pray about that too.  God is the redeemer of time!  He will make up the time the locust have eaten up.  I have heard of moms who have struggled with deep depression and tempers and the kids don’t even remember it.  When that mom gave it all to Jesus, HE restored it all!  Don’t live in the past; just look forward to kids who love you and a Father that died on an old rugged cross just for the bad stuff in you!  HE didn’t pay that price for anything.  Accept the forgiveness and move forward in love!

It is not easy raising strong-willed children but remember God loaned them to you a while, HE felt you were the mom for the job!  What an honor it is serving him and raising these children up!


Why saying you're sorry to your strong willed child is important

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Comments

  1. Alexis says

    I really want to thank you for this. I have a sweet and spicy strong willed 2 year old girl…. DAILY I mess up and every day I repent and beg for more help. I feel like a failure most days but I am trying oh so hard…. She can be such a joy and delight and I love her so much but then she can be so *terrible* in the blink of an eye… everyday there are battles and it is SO HARD. Thank you for understanding this and writing about this… I really appreciate your wisdom!

    • Angela says

      Alexis,
      I’m so happy this encouraged you today! You are NOT alone! All of us moms need to repent time to time with our children, I know how sweet and difficult a 2 yr old can be for sure! Thanks so much for your comment and for reading! I so appreciate it!

  2. says

    ‘Just as Jesus loves us even on our worst day!” How it touched my heart to think of that. When we’re like that with our children, it must touch them the same way. God bless you, sister. God gave you a challenge and He will use it to bless you (though it may not seem that way sometimes!) And there is a positive about that strong will: As they grow it can be directed to standing firm in doing right and not caving in to pressure.

  3. Emmylou Gonzales says

    Thank u do much for these encouraging words and just knowing I’m not alone. Thank u so much I do not like to be a screamer. I have 4 kids and at times I do get overwhelmed. That doesn’t give me the right to yell. And I too do not want my kids to grow up thinking it is normal to always b yelling or remembering mom was a screamer.
    You r so right our Lord forgives us so we should be forgiving as well. You r very inspiring. Thank u thank u.

    • Angela says

      Thank you so much Emmylou for your kind words! I know it is NOT easy to not be a screamer, I still have to fight that battle, because it comes so natural for me. Good for you for realizing you want it to be different. Praying for you and I as we take this parenting journey!!

  4. Jenny says

    thank you for this. I prey every night for patience with my children. It is a everyday struggle for me not to yell, but I work on it everyday. I hope one day I can find the peace to be a calm when dealing with my strong willed child.

  5. Sabrina says

    THANK YOU SO MUCH for this series!!! I just happened to come across it on Pinterest.
    My SW daughter’s name is Grace….I am going to learn to show her MUCH grace from now on.
    😉

  6. Shawnee says

    Thank you so much for this series! I too just ran across it on Pinterest and it speaks volumes. It’s nice to know that we aren’t alone in our struggle with a strong willed child. Mine is only 3 so I have a long road ahead. I already do a couple of the things you suggest so maybe I am on the right path!

    • Angela says

      You are right, you are NOT alone! So glad the post blessed you and you already find yourself on the right track. Those strong willed children are tough but they really do bless you also! Thanks for the visit!

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